


(i was) something they forgot to label fragile

by kybcr



Series: flightless raven [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Abuse, Biting, Choking, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hate Sex, IT'S JUST NEIL AND RIKO AND MAYBE KEVIN MAKING OUT THATS IT THATS THE FIC, Light BDSM, M/M, Multi, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rough Sex, it's riko lol yall should know what to expect
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-07-26
Packaged: 2019-12-25 08:01:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18257120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kybcr/pseuds/kybcr
Summary: not many people understand why kevin couldn't make himself leave the raven's nest for nine years, not with the way he loved- still loves- riko, the same way he loves exy; desperately and obsessively. not many people do. but neil... neil does, because it's impossible not to, because riko, monstrous and broken and beautiful, looks at neil the way he's always wished kevin would."riko will break you," jean had told him, but neil didn't think he meant that riko would break hisheart.(or, neil's winter break at the raven's nest.)





	1. feel the rush of having no tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> this had a plot originally but i didn't like it so i scrapped most of my writing and left in just the porny bits lol it's just PWP now
> 
> probably eventual riko/kevin and maybe kevin/neil
> 
> does not take place in the same continuity as my epilogue au fic nevermore because i decided some time ago that i hate my characterization of everyone in that fic

“Nathaniel,” muses Riko, testing the name out on his tongue. It sounds dirty when he says it, like a curse, like a prayer read out wrong. Nathaniel hates the sound of it, even more so in Riko’s cold, growl-edged voice.

He tries not to scream, tries his goddamn best to keep his mouth shut, but Riko promised he’d make this as painful as he knew how and he’s kept his promise. Nathaniel only sees red and black and Riko’s face, looking on in idle, childlike disinterest while he bleeds. 

(He only hopes Riko will get bored of him quickly and move on to more interesting toys, but he never does.)

Rule number one of living a life on the run: don't draw attention to yourself. Don't make a fuss, don't be loud. It's so easy for Riko because Nathaniel doesn't like to kick up a fuss— the handcuffs, ropes, Riko sitting on his legs, it's all theatrics. 

This is how it works: at practice, he's number four, the backliner. They play, and he's a Raven in all the ways that matter and a Fox in all the ways that don't. After practice, Jean leaves him in Riko’s room and lets him lock the door, and Riko tells him which parts of Nathaniel he hates the most. He points them out with his favorite switchblade.

_Do you know which parts of you I hate the most today?_

_Your grip is atrocious,_ he might say. _I can't believe no one ever taught you how to hold an Exy stick._ Then he'll trace the lines of Nathaniel’s fingers with the knife, deep enough to bleed but not enough to do any lasting damage. 

_You run too much,_ Riko might muse, trailing blood down Nathaniel’s legs. _You should learn to stop running away from everything the moment it gets difficult._

If he weren't tied down, he'd be running. 

_And your mouth,_ Riko might sigh. _So loud, so undisciplined. I wonder how well you can play Exy without your tongue._ But he never does anything to it. _It's not hygienic,_ Riko quips with a little forced laugh. As if he cares about Nathaniel’s health at all. More likely he just doesn't want his knives dirty.

***

It was only a matter of time, Nathaniel supposes. He's lost so much blood over the last few days, the sixteen-hour days are fucking with his brain and Riko is still running his Ravens ragged on the court because holidays be damned, the death matches begin next month and even the Ravens can’t afford to slack off. No one so much as bats an eye when Nathaniel drops his stick and keels over.

It's a shame, really. The last nail in the coffin, because now the Ravens know for sure that he's not here to play at all, he's only here to survive. _This is the player the Captain wanted to sign?_ he imagines them whispering. _A player who can't even stay conscious on the court?_

(Or maybe they won't care. The Ravens operate as one unit up until one of them breaks beyond repair and gets left behind without a second thought. Kevin said once that failed Ravens have a tendency to commit suicide.)

He wakes up in Riko’s room, not his own. Nathaniel jolts awake, surprised by the lack of restraints on his wrists and legs. 

He looks around warily and finds Riko at his desk, back turned. Carefully, Nathaniel tries to lie back down and pretend that he hasn't woken, if only to keep Riko at bay for a while longer. 

“Don't bother,” Riko says, not turning around. Nathaniel freezes. 

“If I wanted you awake I wouldn't have waited for you to wake up yourself, you know,” he continues.

With viper-like grace Riko gets out of his chair and turns to face Nathaniel; more out of habit than anything, he flinches. Riko almost looks offended, like he's surprised that Nathaniel should be afraid of Riko. 

“I'm busy tonight,” he says, motioning to the desk, as if Nathaniel might even care.

“Why am I here, then?” he manages to croak, mouth dry. 

“Jean is cleaning up the court. For your mistakes today.”

“So what am I doing here, if you're not messing with me today? You could have just had me dumped in my own room.”

Riko looks at him a little oddly, a little contemplative. “I can’t get into your room. Jean has your key.”

For some reason, it’s almost funny to Nathaniel. Riko Moriyama, Captain of the Edgar Allan Ravens, Exy King, son of a yakuza crime lord, can’t get into a room because he doesn’t have the key?

Riko answers his unspoken question. “I have got a set of keys for every room in this hall. So does the Master. But my Ravens like to think they have any sort of sanctuary where no one can touch them. I find they perform better with the illusion of the promise of safety waiting for them back at the dorms.”

 _Why are you telling me this?_ Nathaniel wants to say, but he doesn’t have a death wish (yet), so he lets Riko talk.

He doesn’t. For a moment longer, Riko holds his stare, then huffs in exasperation and moves away with a muttered “Oh, you’re no fun.” (Nathaniel’s heart stops for a moment— if Riko’s decided he isn’t interesting enough then he’ll leave him alone?— but obviously, he isn’t that lucky.)

Then he remembers Andrew at Nicky’s parent’s place, bleeding out and pain etched on his face, Andrew laughing so hard that Nathaniel— _Neil_ thought that Andrew had been crying, at first, remembers promises made and promises broken for his sake.

He isn’t here to survive, or to play Exy, luck or no luck, Riko or no Riko.

“Is that what happened with Kevin?” croaks Nathaniel. “You got bored of him and broke his hand, threw him out like an old toy?”

Riko lunges for Nathaniel, who’s too weak and sore to try and stop it, wrenches him off the bed by his collar and then he’s pinned against the wall. Somehow, in the flurry of action, he’s managed to draw a knife.

“Kevin,” hisses Riko, “is exactly the same as you— a coward. He ran away from the Raven’s Nest— I didn’t throw him out. Same as you and your mother running away from your father, from _my father._ Now...”

He levels the knife at Nathaniel’s face, at his eyes, traces the line of his nose, and down to his mouth and for a moment he's suddenly afraid Riko will really do it, really cut out his tongue and shove it down his throat and laugh while he chokes to death.

“I’ve told you how much I hate this, haven’t I? You never know when to keep quiet. Ravens are seen and not heard,” Riko whispers.

“What about—” with some difficulty, Nathaniel clears his throat and speaks despite the cold press of metal against his lips. “I’ve never told you what parts of you I hate the most, have I?” he challenges.

Riko looks at him curiously, tilting his head. “Why bother? You hate every part of me.” 

_I wonder why that is._

But he doesn’t move, which Nathaniel takes as an invitation to continue.

“Your face,” decides Nathaniel, carefully choosing his words. It’s like a dance, both of them tiptoeing right on the edge of open hostility and playing at some mockery of a civilized conversation while one of them is pinned against the wall and the other is pointing a knife at him. “I have to stare at it all day while you mess with me.”

“That’s funny,” says Riko, entertaining Nathaniel in what he assumes is a moment of good humor. “Kevin used to stare at me and when I asked him why he said he liked looking at my face.”

It disarms Nathaniel, stopping his train of thought for a moment as he tries to imagine Kevin Day and Riko Moriyama in any situation not downright hostile. But then he thinks of his binder, crammed full of photos of them beaming and laughing— staged, surely, but they never looked unhappy to be around each other. And suddenly it’s not fear ripping at his nerves but something else, something hot and burning and Nathaniel finds that he’s jealous. Bone-deep resentment for how much Kevin couldn’t let go of Riko, for how much he had him wrapped around his finger. For how much Kevin never looked at Nathaniel, never looked at _anything_ the way he looked at Riko that day on Kathy Ferdinand’s show.

“Your mouth,” continues Nathaniel, thrown off track and suddenly finding it hard to breathe when Riko gazes at him the same way Nathaniel keeps waiting for Kevin to. “You’re a hypocrite, saying I talk too much— you love the sound of your own voice so much. You have to learn to shut the hell up.”

“Will this suffice?” asks Riko, and before Nathaniel can think about what he’s just said, Riko kisses him.

For a moment, he’s paralyzed, letting Riko tear into him and hold him so close he can’t breathe. Riko kisses like he needs it to live, breathlessly and ardently, and it makes Nathaniel dizzy. Dimly, he notices the knife pressed still against his neck but all he can feel is Riko's mouth pressed against his.

When Riko lets go of Nathaniel, leaving him gasping, he merely smirks. “Will it?” he repeats, and it takes him a moment to remember what he means.

“Well,” Riko sighs, “at least I found a way to keep you quiet, hm?”

Unsteadily, head spinning, Nathaniel stumbles away from the wall, away from- not Riko, no... but of what it felt like to be held like that, to have someone's undivided attention devoted to him, and because- because, really-

(- it felt _good,_ and Nathaniel is terrified of it.)

Riko doesn’t move to stop him from opening the door and sprinting down the hall and into his own room on feet that have somehow turned to jelly, where Jean’s left the door slightly ajar for him.

Jean slides a carefully neutral look across Nathaniel— no bruises, no cuts, but if he sees whatever it is in Nathaniel’s eyes then he doesn’t let on.

***

The Raven’s Nest does not wait up for stragglers, so Nathaniel has no choice but to catch up. If he’s lucky… very, very lucky, Riko brings him up to his room but doesn’t draw his knives and merely lets Nathaniel stare at him, thinking of home, thinking of Andrew, thinking of Kevin and what it would be like to watch Kevin while Kevin watched Riko, memorize his face like an Exy manual.

Not tonight. Nathaniel isn’t lucky enough. Riko likes to play with his food before moving in for the kill, never mind that Riko barely eats at all. He supposes Riko runs on gasoline, or something, if there’s even anything left running through his veins at all.

Riko’s drawing pictures on Nathaniel’s skin with his thinnest blade, a wicked little thing, barely more than a flash of steel in his deft, practiced hands. His work is precise and intricate, beads of blood welling up in his blade’s wake. It barely stings, compared to everything else Riko’s done to Nathaniel— it’s more itchy than painful, and doesn’t hurt enough to take his mind off other things.

Carefully, Riko wipes away the beads of blood and leans back to admire his work. It’s a little red raven, carved into the skin of Nathaniel’s arm. It’s not a tattoo, but the sentiment is there. _You belong to me,_ he imagines the little bloodied raven cawing in Riko’s voice.

A week (or, four and a half normal days, but Nathaniel lost count at some point) passes. He doesn’t get used to the pain, and he doesn’t learn to live with it. Riko’s creative and knows exactly how to make it hurt without breaking him— he still needs to be able to play Exy, after all. The Ravens turn a blind eye to bruises, cuts, ripped scabs and unsteady steps the same way they do with each other and with Riko. He doesn't think about Riko pulling him in and kissing him, doesn't think about how good it felt, doesn't ask him to do it again. The scribbles on his skin multiply until his arms and then his torso and legs are carpeted with Riko’s delicate drawings, scabs dark with dried blood and snagging on his uniform. Flowers bloom over his skin, branches and towering trees, and ravens. Ravens everywhere, taking flight across his body and over the planes of scarred skin and muscle. Riko’s eye for detail is incredible and his skill is unparalleled in the lines of each feather, each wing. 

“You should do a fox,” says Nathaniel, lying on his stomach while Riko works on his back.

He feels the blade dig in deeper than it usually does, winces at the sharp bite of pain at the small of his back.

“No,” says Riko quietly, and Nathaniel doesn’t bring it up again.

***

Nathaniel holds out his hand expectantly. Riko takes the knife off his neck and hands it to him.

(He is, after all, still not used to functioning sleep-deprived, starved and dizzy the way Riko is. Even with a knife the odds are tipped so far out of his favor. Riko knows that armed or not, Nathaniel can’t hurt him.)

“You don’t need me to teach you how to use a knife, do you?” mocks Riko.

“I appreciate the offer, but,” Nathaniel mutters, raising the knife till the edge rests on Riko’s neck and not his, “I know what I’m doing.” _My father is the Butcher of Baltimore. I grew up using knives._

“And what exactly are you doing?”

“This,” says Nathaniel, before he leans in and kisses Riko.

Riko’s startled gasp against his mouth almost makes him draw away, but Riko’s hand finds its way to Nathaniel’s jawline, right on a fresh bruise, and pulls him closer. Riko’s mouth opens under his and Nathaniel tastes blood, whether his or Riko’s he’s not sure. When he feels Riko’s tongue against his he lurches backwards, but heat is already coiling in his chest.

“Was… uh—” Riko’s voice is hoarse, ripped at the edges, raw and makes Nathaniel feel like— makes him feel. 

“Wait,” says Nathaniel, cursing at how his heart is racing. “I… do that again.”

“Are you—”

 _What the fuck am I saying,_ thinks Nathaniel. It comes out as “Kiss me again.”

He snatches Riko’s collar, tugs him closer and their lips collide, roughly. Clumsily, on Nathaniel’s part, at least, because the way Riko kisses Nathaniel knows he’s done this before, practiced this. With Kevin, and the thought makes Nathaniel press forwards viciously.

When Riko’s teeth scrape against his lower lip a moan escapes his mouth, more of a growl than anything else. Nathaniel imitates him, taking Riko’s lip between his teeth and biting down, eliciting a high-pitched whine from Riko. He pulls back momentarily to catch his breath and sees Riko, really _sees_ him, black hair a tousled mess and collar wrinkled from where Nathaniel grabbed him, cheeks flushed high with color and lips swollen, a seventeen-year-old god in all his gilded glory. He looks filthy, beautiful, _human. I did that,_ thinks Nathaniel dazedly, _I made him this way._

And if any gods are left still watching over the bowels of Castle Evermore, then here, in a bedroom in the Raven’s Nest with Riko’s tongue inside his mouth and their bodies pressed together, Nathaniel doesn’t think he’s ever been closer to heaven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u enjoyed my garbage. fic and chapter title from City In A Garden by Fall Out Boy


	2. hold me tight (or don't)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ft. jealous!neil with kevneil undertones
> 
> if everyone is extremely OOC i'm sorry but i actually am not planning this there is no good plot/characterization in this it's just me flinging garbage smut into the void so yeah if you wanted good writing stop here

They don't talk about it. But Nathaniel lets himself into Riko’s room after practice and lets Riko take him apart, lets him kiss him until he can't breathe and he's dizzy.

"Do you know which part of you I hate the most?" Riko will whisper, and then lean in to kiss Nathaniel like that's an answer.

“Don't make a habit of this,” warns Riko, in between kisses, before he leans in again and sucks on Nathaniel’s lower lip and runs his fingertips over his jawline, leaving sparks in its wake.

Nathaniel comes back anyways the next day and Riko doesn't stop him.

It becomes a habit he can't kick, a drug he can't stop coming back to. Nathaniel hates himself for it. No sooner has Riko let Nathaniel into his room does he fall forwards into Riko and kiss him, tangling his fingers in smooth black hair and breathing in Riko’s scent.

“Wait,” mumbles Riko through the kiss, unwilling or unable to pull away. “Close the door—”

Nathaniel kisses him again, insistent and desperate, feeling his mouth open under Riko’s and tasting him, ripping him wide open. He feels stripped open, like Riko’s taken him apart by just looking at him.

Riko actually pulls back this time, a twinge of impatience working through his haze. He kicks the door closed and shoves Nathaniel against it roughly, pressing his own body to Nathaniel’s and whispering in his ear.

“Impatient,” he growls. “We have to be careful. You're exactly like Kevin.”

“Don't,” warns Nathaniel, grinding against Riko’s tented trousers and eliciting a low moan from Riko, “talk about Kevin.”

Riko responds by kissing him deeper, licking into his mouth and sucking on his lip. _Shit_ , he’s good at this. One of his hands moves away from its death-grip on Nathaniel’s collar and finds its way down, across his chest, down his waist, to the bulge in his trousers. Nathaniel curses, his eyes rolling up into his head when Riko brushes against it.

“Why are you so obsessed with Kevin, hm?” wonders Riko aloud, rubbing up and down through the fabric. Nathaniel breaks the kiss to groan through gritted teeth. “The way you talk about him… seems like you either want to kill him or fuck him.”

(Which, ironically, seems more like whatever Nathaniel’s feeling about Riko— unable to decide whether he wants to strangle Riko or kiss him dizzy.)

Riko pulls his hand away and Nathaniel whines, fucking _whines_ like an animal, before Riko’s fingers snag on the edge of his waistband and pull his trousers down roughly. “Is that it? Is that why you want me so much? Why you _hate_ me so much? Because,” continues Riko, slipping his hand down Nathaniel’s underwear to let his erection spring free, “because you know that I've done this with Kevin? That he's fucked me?”

Nathaniel curses again. He’s hot all over, shaking from want, from guilt, as his eyes flutter shut. Thinking about Riko, thinking about— fuck, he's right, thinking about _Kevin_ — he tries to buck his hips upwards into Riko’s hand, desperate for any friction. Riko pulls back and wrenches his chin upwards. “Look at me,” he demands, as his hand begins to move, slicking pre-come across his length and pulling a broken gasp out of Nathaniel. It feels… God, he’s so sensitive that every time he shifts under Riko it feels like a flood of sensation washing over him. He forces his eyes open and when they meet Riko’s a jolt of heat rushes into his core. Nathaniel realizes, dimly, that Riko’s grinning, goading him on, but he's powerless to stop him and Nathaniel wants him, needs him too much to be able to think clearly.

Riko’s pace increases, pumping Nathaniel’s length hard and fast. Pleasure licks up his spine and his knees give out, falling forwards into Riko. Riko doesn't miss a beat and pulls Nathaniel down onto the bed on top of Riko, straddling his lap.

“Fuck,” hisses Nathaniel. “Fuck, I— Riko, I want—”

Nathaniel breaks off when Riko kisses him, hard and messy, still stroking his length and holding Nathaniel's face with his other hand. He presses a kiss to Nathaniel’s cheek, moves to his ear and bites on it, licks a trail down his neck, leaving Nathaniel a shaking mess. He can't stop the moans falling from his mouth, the simultaneous sensation of Riko's palm slicking his cock and his mouth wet against his skin overwhelming.

“Tell me,” purrs Riko. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want— please, I—”

Riko bites down on his neck, right above his collarbone, and Nathaniel’s back arches in pain and pleasure. “Tell me exactly what you want, Nathaniel,” he says,”and don't you fucking dare close your eyes so I know you aren't thinking of Kevin when you come.”

 _Fuck you,_ he thinks desperately, and then _fuck me_.

“I want— fuck, Riko, I want you,” he whines, because if he has any of his dignity anymore he left it at the door of Riko’s room. He’s unable to hold on, pressure coiling in his stomach and spreading out through his body in waves. He's practically bouncing in Riko's lap now, trying to get his hand to move faster, harder.

Riko leans close and whispers into his ear, so soft he can feel Riko’s breath on his skin. “Then come for me, doll.”

Nathaniel comes so hard his vision whites out, waves of pleasure flooding him till he's left gasping and shaking. He comes down from his high slowly, heart racing and slowing till he’s aware that he’s still sitting in Riko’s lap with his head tucked into Riko’s neck. His head still feels unfocused as he rides out the aftershocks.

“Were you thinking of Kevin, or me?” asks Riko quietly.

“I don’t know,” admits Nathaniel.

"Wrong answer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title is a song by fall out boy
> 
> tbh???? i don't know what to do with this 'fic' i might just come back to it every now and then when i feel like writing mindless hate sex


	3. designer drugs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for hatesex and physically painful sex

Riko and Nathaniel trade in stolen kisses and rushed handjobs in the bathroom when Riko slides a glance towards him during practice and tells the Ravens to take five. No one looks their way twice.

“Do you think they know?” ventures Nathaniel.

“Of course,” says Riko dismissively. “Have you not noticed my Ravens fucking someone different every night? Castle Evermore isn’t exactly a good environment for a pack of young athletes, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

Well. It wasn’t exactly that Nathaniel had  _ noticed, _ more that he’d always been aware on some level that the Ravens are fuelled by hatred and desperation and that there’s usually someone different sleeping with any given Raven any night.

“What about,” Nathaniel hesitates, “what about you and Kevin?”

“I thought you didn’t want to hear about Kevin.”

“I don’t. Tell me.”

“Two teenage boys living together alone since age eleven in a place like the Raven’s Nest. You tell me what you think happens next.”

“Okay,” says Nathaniel, because he doesn’t know what else to say. “Okay.”

“What was—” he hesitates, then thinks  _ fuck this, I’ve let Riko put his hands all over me while wishing he was Kevin, what more could I lose.  _ “What was he like?” 

“In bed?” asks Riko, and hearing him spell it out like that almost makes Nathaniel cringe until Riko leans forwards until their faces are almost touching, staring at him with his lips parted slightly.

“Why,” he breathes, “you want me to tell you about it while you jack off, maybe? Bet you’d like that, seeing me and Kevin together?”

A shiver runs down Nathaniel’s spine. It’s so goddamn  _ dirty, _ every single word out of Riko’s mouth absolutely filthy, and thinking about it makes Nathaniel feel hot all over.

Riko suddenly pushes him backwards off him and onto the bed, knocking Nathaniel’s breath out of him, then flips him over onto his stomach. 

"Kevin isn't here, is he?" he whispers, breath tickling Nathaniel's neck. "But I am. Now tell me who you belong to, doll."

"You," croaks Nathaniel, without thinking, dizzy with desire. "I— I belong to you, please,  _ please,  _ I want—" 

"Tell me," orders Riko, leaning forwards over Nathaniel and slipping his thumb under his waistband. "Tell me what you want. Spell it out for me."

"I want you to fuck me," gasps Nathaniel, cheeks flushed hot with shame and want.

Riko hums, low in the back of his throat as his hand drifts over Nathaniel's length, past his taint, and stops to rest at his entrance. Nathaniel feels simultaneously like he's going to combust on the spot and melt into the sheets.

"You won't be able to walk tomorrow," warns Riko. "Not when I'm done with you."

"I don't care," gasps Nathaniel.

"Have you ever done this before?" asks Riko. 

"Uh— alone, yeah." 

Riko pulls Nathaniel’s underwear down with one sharp motion before he pulls away, leaving Nathaniel hanging. With his face buried in the pillow he can't see where Riko's gone, but he hears a drawer opening and closing, the noise of ripping foil.

"I'm clean, you know, you don't have to—"

Riko laughs, suddenly, a short, sharp, surprisingly bright sound. “Oh, you really haven't done this before. You'll hate me even more than you already do if I come inside you."

"Fuck," gasps Nathaniel, "how can you just—  _ say _ things like that, like—" 

Riko pulls him into his lap. His hand ghosts across his ass and teases Nathaniel with a few slick strokes of his cock before finally,  _ finally  _ slipping a finger inside his entrance. Nathaniel tenses up instinctively and lets out a strangled whine. When Riko adds another lube-slicked finger and begins scissoring them inside him to open him up a broken moan escapes his mouth—  _ fuck _ , it hurts like hell and it feels so goddamn good, Riko’s fingers pumping inside him and his breath hot against Nathaniel’s neck. Nathaniel has to squeeze his eyes shut because if he looks at Riko's face he'll probably come right then and there. The burn makes his eyes water and he tries to fuck down onto Riko's fingers, making Riko gasp. 

"Fuck," curses Riko, "you fuck like a bad boy, Jesus—"

Nathaniel leans his head backwards into the crook of Riko's neck and moans as Riko speeds up. Something about Riko's voice just  _ does  _ something to him, leaves him shaking and breathless and utterly shameless. When Riko makes a come-hither gesture with his fingers and hits that sensitive spot inside of him Nathaniel swears he sees stars and  _ keens,  _ and when Riko’s fingers slip out of him he whines in frustration.

“Not so fast,” whispers Riko before pushing Nathaniel down onto the bed again and flipping him over onto his stomach. Riko’s hands move down to hold him open and with a soft nudge slides inside to the hilt. Nathaniel lets out a broken cry (in pain or pleasure, he’s not sure) at the sensation and when Riko starts moving inside him he gasps.

It feels… so deep, so full, like he’s being split in half to the core, and yet it still isn’t enough. Nathaniel realizes he’s making little noises every time Riko pushes into him, little “ah-ah” sounds. “Please,” he grinds out between gritted teeth, “Riko,  _ Riko _ ,  _ please,  _ I need—”

Riko leans down and breathes against the back of his neck. “Doll likes it deep?” he teases. Nathaniel moans, deep and low in the back of his throat.

Agonizingly slowly, Riko rolls his hips into Nathaniel’s. Nathaniel buries his face in the pillow and groans. “Come on, Riko,” he forces out, trying to rock backwards into him, “can you go any goddamn slower—” 

Suddenly Riko snatches Nathaniel’s wrists up from where they’re fisted in the sheets and pins them up above his head before his hips collide with Nathaniel’s,  _ hard,  _ knocking the breath out of him _.  _

Nathaniel gasps out a strangled, “God, oh, god—”

“Not God,” purrs Riko, voice completely at odds with the amount of force he’s using, as his fingers curl around his wrists, so tight his hands are starting to go numb.

“Riko,” Nathaniel tries, “Riko—”

“Right the second time,” and Riko starts pounding into him, and he adjusts Nathaniel’s hips so that every single thrust hits that spot inside him, that spot that makes him see stars and makes it hard to breathe, and before he knows it the pressure is building inside his gut and he’s coming with a cry, thighs shaking, gasping into the pillow, untouched.

Riko rides him through it until Nathaniel comes down from the high and can breathe again. “Riko,” he mumbles, “Riko, I— fuck, it  _ hurts, _ stop—”

“Hurts good or bad?” asks Riko between gasps, hips still colliding against Nathaniel’s.

“Both,” whimpers Nathaniel, feeling something wet on his face that might be tears and finding it hard to breathe. He’s so sensitive it feels like his nerves are on fire. “Goddamn, it hurts—” 

At the sound of Nathaniel’s voice Riko groans and pushes into him deep and hard, holds him down into the bed while he rides out his out climax. Nathaniel feels himself being flipped over onto his back and then Riko’s kissing him, hard and desperate, until everything’s a haze of lips and tongues and Riko’s fingers tangled in his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i 👏 need 👏 jesus
> 
> you know what's hot? riko being a sadistic dom and fucking neil within an inch of his life, but being a pretty sub for kevin, sitting in his lap, whimpering etc. i probably won't update for a few months but if/when i do, expect completely dynamic switched rikev :))))
> 
> chapter title is a lyric from don't threaten me with a good time by panic! at the disco. (do yall know how hard it is for me to find chapter titles?! i haven't listened to anything except kpop since like january and i'm looking thru songs i haven't heard since primary school for these titles)


End file.
